...it's laugh time!
all in a day's work humors and more!
SYMOnyms-not synonyms; not homonyms, words encountered in day to day conversation!
Refly -response
USV -floppy disk days are gone, here is “universal serial bus”
Subscribe -to fade ; drop or settle
Us in -an expression "really" or "indeed"
Bye -to purchase
Employer -workers; staff
Resuemai -curriculum vitae
Contrack -agreement
Decition -an act of deciding
Fate -belief
Ash -inquire; request
Pretty cash -cash of small amount of disbursements
Now -none, nothing
Patter -better, superior
Scanner -document copied
Now -not; nothing
Excerpt from www.indayjokes
Been fascinated by Inday jokes. Read on and have a good laugh.
It was jazz an ordinary day. The skies were clear, the birds were chipping. Ang ganda-ganda ng araw! Nasa SM ako noon at katatapos ko lang mamili ng groceries. Timing naman nasa foodcore si Angel Locsin, nagpro-provoke ng movie nya. Grabe, andaming fans, pull-packed talaga! Dahil fans nya rin ako, nakipila rin ako.
Then suddenly, out of the loo, may bumulong sa akin ng: “Indaaaayyyy. ……”
Huh? It sounded like a familiar sound. Who can it be now?
“Dodong!” sigaw ko.
Napalakas yata voice ko. Kasi the other fans turned their backs to their behind at napatingin sa amin. Sabi ko “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be loud and proud.” Hinawakan na lang ni Dodong ang kamay ko at lumayo kami from the crowd.
“Kamusta na Inday? Do you come here open? tanong nya.
“Bihira lang, Dodong. I’m just droppings by. Ethnic and schedule ko eh” sabi ko.
Memories came flushing in my mind. How can I forget to remember Dodong? Siya na may mata ni Piolo, dimple ni Aga, at bigote ni Rex Cortez. he’s every woman’s dreamboat. I was just starting my tour of duty kay ate noon nang unang makilala ko si Dodong. Contraction worker siya sa ginagawang bahay sa tapat namin. Naging kami for a while then after that were not an item anymore.
“Tanghali na Inday. What did you say we have lunch together?” tanong ni
Dodong. “I don’t mine” sagot ko.
Sa restaurant, nilapitan kaagad kami ng waiter. “What’s your odor sir?” sabi nung waiter kay Dodong.
“Do you have porkshop?” tanong ni Dodong.
“Yes sir” sabi nito. “Our porkshop with a resistance to the teeth of boast of our chef. Domestic careful selection of pork with little fat of female liking is used. The exquisite cooking which repeated trial and error and was completed. it also has healthy vegetables with salad feeling fully” dagdag niya.
“And you mam?” sabay tingin naman sa akin.
Hmmm… mukhang masarap yung porkshop. Pero I’m cutting down on my carbon kaya pinigilan ko.
“I’ll just have water, thanks. Liquidate diet ako eh.” sagot ko.
Pagkatapos kumain, nagyaya si Dodong manood ng sine. Teka teka, this is going too far. Besides, it’s a long, long way to run.
“Reality chess, Dodong. May asawa na ako, si Jay. As a mother of fact, I’m happily married” pagmamalaki ko.
“Di na pwede yung tulad ng dati. Sorry pero I didn’t expect you still have more feelings than I expected. i don’t want you getting the way. Past is fast. Therefore, cause and defect.” dagdag ko pa.
Tumahimik sya. Parang may language barrel na namagitan sa amin. The seconds that passed seemed like fraternity. Di nagla-on, nagsalita na rin sya.
“I don’t care less!” sigaw ni Dodong.
Shocks, give me a brake! The nerd ng taong ito para sigawan ako! To think it’s his other woman that caused our separation to part.
Kinabahan na ako. I felt speedbumps all over my body and was having panic attach. Tinalikuran ko siya at nagmadali akong lumakad palayo. Pero sumunod pa rin siya like a monkey on my butt. Hanggang sa makakita ako ng security guard. Biglang nawala si Dodong.
“Excuse me kuya, pwedeng magtanong?” sabi ko sa mamang guard.
“Of course miss, I can help you with my pleasure.” sagot niya.
“Saan po ba ang exit? Could you point me to the right erection? I got lost in my eyes.”
“Diretso lang.” sabi niya. “Then turn right anytime with care.”
“Thanks for your corporation” sabi ko.
Buti na lang nandun si kuya. Pero saglit lang, I smell something peachy. As I turned, nakita ko na namang nakasunod si Dodong! Delaying static lang pala kanina ang pag disappear nya.
“Nyahahaha! You can run but you can hide, Inday. No matter where you go, there you are!” pananakot nya.
Oh no, is this the end? This is too much, I feel degradable. My world started falling afar.
Then suddenly, Jay come from behind! Dodong was caught to the act! In the matter of minute, it’s all over. I’m out of arm’s way.
“Thanks Jay, my love. But how did you?” bago pa man ako matapos, sabi niya:
“I was in the neighborhood. Fans din ako ni Angel eh. I heard you shout but at first I didn’t give it a thought. Pero nang makita ko kayong magkahawak ng holding hands, then i give it a thought. I know something is a missed.”
From then on, Dodong did not brother me again. In fact, he didn’t even sister me. As in platonic at wala na talaga. Pero kami ni Jay, heto, shoot sailing pa rin ang relationship. Lalo pa ngayon, open na kami sa isa’t-isa at walang exhibitions. i feel I’m on cloud.
( a true humor story)
Me: Hindi kaya natatakot si Beauty na magka-aids, aba eh, sabay-sabay kasi ang boyfriends nya?
Pogi: Ewan ko nga ba kay Beauty.... Eh, sa tingin ko nga-sakit na nya yan eh---KLEPTOMANIAC!
Me: (esep-esep......deadma lang.....)
tae namin sa CR ay lulutang-lutang-
ewan ko ba tila yata wala ng paglagyan!
washing machine naman,
dalawa nga ngunit kulang
sapagkat ang isa---
tubig ay awtomatikong lumilisan….
kusina’y marungis-
ni walang lamesang mainam
aircon naming bulok-
tila hangin ayaw lab’san,
salamat ng konti…
surot sa bahay,
pansamantalang dumalang,
siguro yata-sa dugo nami’y
di na masarapan…
aming sahod na kakaunti,
pag-asa ay sa overtime
pero naku-sa t’wing ipapasa itong time sheet
para bagang gustong-gusto
itong OT ay kaltasan..
kakat’wa, madalas kakaasar na isipin….
oo sa ‘pinas
buhay ay mahirap
pero dito lang saudi
surot ay nasilayan….
pag-alipusta sa munti kong pagkatao
dito lang din naranasan
at take-note:
baligtad sa aking inaasahan
ang tatapak sa munti kong kaparatan,
ay tulad kong kayumangging-kaligatan!
hay…..buhay…..
wala lang---sabi ng kabataan…
nais ko lang ‘tong kalagayan
ay ibulong sa hangin na dumaraan….
..wala lang…..
(I went home, wrote my feelings about our work/life situation in my (old) company; crumpled it ; then put in the trash---this is how I express myself. While Arnold, my roommate saw it, told me that-I was such a good "powet". He encouraged me to put it in our company's suggestion box. The manager at first has a positive response--telling me personally (without knowing that it's me who wrote it) that he doesn't know our accommodation's situation and he will order to have it renovated. I was shocked that 3 days later, he changed his reaction---pointing a finger on my face--saying--"that dumbed-guy who wrote it---is a coward"! I just laughed (alangan namang umamin ako diba?). This made his impression that I was such a "rebel" because one colleague spilled the beans. But I never regreted doing things that I love to do. They renovated our accommodation; and somehow treatment towards us has changed pero saglit lang. Siguro kung hindi sa isyung ito ay hindi ako makakauwi ng maaga sa 'Pinas at hindi makakahanap ng mas magandang trabaho).
kaselanan
PARE-PAREHO LANG TAYO!
(a true humor story)
Ang eksena ay sa isang opisina, nag-aaway and dalawang empleyado tungkol sa sumbong issue...
Tricky: Iharap nyo sa akin kung sino ang nagsabi na nagsusumbong ako dun sa palasyo?
Jon: Hindi na kailangan!
Tricky: Sige! pag hindi nyo sinabi sa akin kung sinong empleyado ng Prinsesa ang nagsabi na nagsusumbong ako...
ako mismo ang pupunta sa Prinsesa para iharap sa akin kung sino yun! kasi kahit kelan hindi ako
nagsusumbong dun!
Jon: (medyo natakot)....pag-usapan natin eto Tricky....
Tricky: (galit pa rin) Hindi ako aalis dito hanggang hindi nyo sinasabi kung sino ang taong tinutukoy nyo....
Jon: (nagalit na!) Lumayas ka sa harap ko!!! Lumabas ka sa opisinang ito!!!
Tricky: Hindi ako aalis dito, hanggat hindi nyo sinasabi kung sino sya!!! Bakit nyo ako palalayasin, aba pare-pareho lang naman tayong EMPLOYER ah!!!
" S-A-U-D-I"
I never chanced to read SAUDI acronym. While others are oftentimes used. ITALY (I truly admire and love you); JAPAN (just always pray at night) are only some.
Eh, since d2 rin lang ako nag wo-work, siguro bigyan natin ng cute na acronym ang bansang SAUDI:
S-obrang
A-nghit
U-obra (ba ang)
D-eodorant (sa mga)
I-("5-6")
(Dedicated to all "5-6" expatriates in Saudi)
S-obra
A-ng
U-haw
D-ahil (sa)
I-nit
(Kung bakit sobrang "uhaw" ang mga Saudi)
S-uper, dooper sexy
A-ng
U-ng
D-ating
I-nday!
(Eto, syempre para sa aking Inday!)
Sa penthouse ng Skytowers
Nag-aabang sa'yo sinta,
Sa pagdating,
Sa tipanang itinakda.
Ako'y laging naiinip,
Na maghintay...nag-iisa,
Kaya ako'y namamanglaw,
Nasaan ka na ba?
Maari ba, kung pwede lang?
Agahan mo sana,
Para hindi nabuburyo,
Na maghintay sa umaga?
Ay! salamat.
Andyan ka na pala...
..ang bus service ko...patungo sa opisina...
SAKAY na!
( 30 August 2008, Riyadh)
(My morning routine, whenever I was assigned in Riyadh. Instead of getting mad at late-comer drivers, writing cools me down. )
T__N__G__S__N !
Sa loob ng isang courtroom nililitis ang isang kaso ng panghahalay.
Judge: Maaari bang isalaysay ng biktima kung paano naganap ang ang pang-hahalay sa kanya?
Victim: Isang gabi. Maliwanag ang buwan. Ako po ay naglalakad pauwi sa aming kubo.
Bigla na lang pong may humila sa akin sa kawayanan.
Judge: Anong nangyari pagkatapos na hilahin ka sa kawayanan?
Victim: Dahil po maliwanag ang gabi. Nakita ko po ang mukha ng nanghalay sa akin.
Judge: Sino ang humalay sa iyo at ano ang ginawa nya sa 'yo?
Victim: Si Kiko po. Hinubad nya ang aking damit. Ang aking bra. Ang aking pantalon. At ang aking panloob.
Hinalikan nya po ako labi....sa dibdib...sa....sa.....sa.....sa....
Judge: (Pok! Pok! Pok!) Hearing adjourned! T_N_G_S_N ako!
( 'Sensya na po hindi natuloy ang paglilitis ng ka. Si Judge kasi hindi nag-modess. TINAGUSAN tuloy......jejejejejejeje)
